Transvestia

met them all before the sex change, and some of them, at first, did not know they were TS's,... they only knew that they enjoyed dressing and would feel much happier as girls than in their male role. As they multiplied their TV hours they became convinced that this was the way they would like to spend their en- tire life and the heck with the trousers and neck- ties! Their main concern was the problem of the law and of society. How would they go about earning a living dressed as girls? Could they have a satis- factory social life, or family life?....And then there was the matter of physical appearance. After massive doses of hormones would they still retain certain male characteristics that would make them look odd, freakish? So they took the big step.

Dr. Benjamin writes in his fabulous study: "The Transsexual Phenomenon" that he does not know of single one of the TS's operated on who regrets what was done. Far be it from me to dispute this state- ment. I admire Dr. Benjamin too much for that. But the germ of a doubt gnaws inside me. If I were a TS - I say to myself. and had had the operation, would

I be willing to admit to any living soul that I re- gretted my decision, if I really did regret it? True every single TS I've talked to after the operation tells me she feels on top of the world, what a re- lief! What a sense of freedom! Of being one's self at last! And still, my doubts remain. I cannot quite accept such a dazzling scene of happiness when I observe a human being who is still secretly con- cerned with the size of her hands for instance. Hormones and operation notwithstanding, big hands will always remain big hands...thick necks will al- ways remain thick necks...six-foot and over in height is not shrunk by hormones...even the voice is not quite what it should be...and so on...Moreover, I've seen TS's who earned an excellent income before the operation. Today, they have to be satisfied with half a salary or even less in jobs which are a far cry from the activity they were most proficient at... Some have found that their newly acquired sex has